OUR LOST BEGAS VACATION
by Jordan I was just batting a ball around the house when I noticed that my sisfurs were in a huddle mewing about something. Assuming they didn't want me to hear, I snuck over and listened: Neek: Mew no, summer almose offur an we neffur did nuffin speshul. Zena: Wells, mebbe we shud goze somewheres? Scraps: Hey - led's goze to Lost Begas! Gray Lady: Dat sound wonnerfur. I gonna go pack rite now! All excited, they went to their rooms to pack. Jordan: WAIT - wat about me? Ken I goze? I purrmise to be gud. I neffur beed to Lost Begas. I gave them my sweetest look, and after a little begging, they said I could go too! We got on a great big airplane and a flight attendent showed us to our seats. A little while after we were n the air, she came by and asked us if we would like something to drink. Zena: We wud likes five bowls of milk, please. Flight attendent: Coming right up. You know, you bought five seeats. You don't all have to sit in the same one. Scraps: Dat okays, we a liddle askaird, soze we gonna sticks togeffur. After our milk, we settled down for a nap, still cuddled up in one seat. We all woke up when we felt the plane land. I must tell you, I was happy to have all four paws on the ground! A colorful little bus picked us up at the airport and took us to da Golden Nugget!
Jordan: Wowze wowze - I neffur seed so many lites! Scraps: Mew rite! I bet mew ken see diz place frum outter space. Jordan: Hmmm, I wonner if dere any aliens here?? Neek: Donut start wiff da aliens again! Gray Lady: Led's go up to our room, wash our faces an come back down an eggsplore. Zena: Den we ken go do da casino! Jordan: Wat a casino? Little did I know that I would never forget what a casino is. So, we went to our room, washed eached each other's faces and went down to the CASINO!! Gray Lady: I use to be purdy gud at poker Neek: fink I jess sit here an plays Keno! Jordan: What dey is do offur dere? I see little skware balls wiff dots on dem an dey jess frow dem on a table. Gray Lady: Dey are plays craps. Jordan: Mew is saayed a bad word - mew not appose to says crap! I gonna tells meowmie. Zena: No, she say craps - wiff a ess at da end. So, the girls played a little of this and a little of that. Zena won a few more nickels for herself, Gray Lady and Scraps did well at the tables and Neek won a jackpot playing Keno. I just watched those little square balls rolling on the table. Neek: Mews guys - I jess winned a jakpot playin Keno. Led's go offur to da Buffay an eats sum din din. My treet!! Jordan: Wat a Buffay? Scraps: It a room wiff long tables fulla fude an mew pays to get in, butt den mew ken eats all mew wants! I must say, that the smells in that big room actually took my mind away from those little square balls. I never saw so much food at one time and in one place.
Man: You know, young man, you can go back to those tables as many times as you like. You don't have to get all your food at one time. But what I heard was.......Mew no young man dat affur mew eats all dis fude, mew ken goze back fur more........ mewhehe We ate til we couldn't even chew any more. Then we went back out into the casino. I was really liking this casino! The girls went over to the big jackpot slot machines, and I wandered back to the craps (mewhehe) table. I sat there and watched for a while. Then I heard the magic words. Someone said....... THROW THOSE MICE...... at least that's what it sounded like to me. I watched them sail thru the air, hit the table and start rolling. I could resist no longer. POUNCE! I caught one!! I batted it around the table. I picked it up with my teeth and tossed it into the air. All da people around the table were yelling. I knew they were cheering for me. I was their hero!!
Then I saw them - my sisfurs, and they were all making bad faces at me. Zena: Mews Jordan, jump down here. We gotta gets mew outta here afore da purrlice comes! Jordan: I a hero! Da man sayed frow doze mice an I caught it fur dem! Scraps: Doze not mice. Da man sayed FROW DOZE DICE - dey dice an dey needs dem to plays dere game. I was so embarrassed. The girls surrounded me and hustled me over to the elevator and we zoomed up to our room. Inside the room...... Neek: Now wat we gonna do? I isn't wanna goze home, but I isn't wanna spend a whole day amorrow in dis room! Scraps: Wells, we ken jess leaf Jordan in here an goze to a diffurend casino. Jordan: Mew gonna leaf me here all by myownself? ....sniff sniff Zena: No, we cannut do dat. He cud get in trubble rite here! Gray Lady: I got it! We gonna diskize him an finishes our facashun like we plan! So, for the rest of our vacation, I wore big sunglasses, a baseball cap and a fake nose ring that Scraps had in her suitcase.
The next day was fairly uneventful. We ate, we played and eventually we lost all of our allowances. Next time I go to Lost Begas, I am NOT bringing those girls with me!!
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