You interviewed a What?

By Fern

I gave this interview idea a lot of thought but came up with nothing. Maddie, my sisfur, was one idea, but we hiss so much at each other, I wouldn't have time for any questions. My neighborhood has a few cats, but I don’t know them. I do see one walking across the street, but I’m stuck inside the house. Finally, I had a solution. I decided to interview Gracie, the dog. She and I get along okay because I scare her into submission, and, besides, she doesn’t hiss. We sat across from each other in the den, I on my couch and Gracie on her chair. Here is our interview.

Fern: Do you mind not being a cat?

Gracie: I find that question insulting. I am thrilled to be a dog. I get to choose where I go to the bathroom and I get to pick alternate spots. None of that litter stuff for me.

Fern: Do you really like going out in the rain or the snow? Cats get to stay inside and be cozy and warm. No cat would be silly enough to get cold or wet.

Grace: You also don’t get to lie in the grass in the sun, play ball in the yard or chase squirrels.

Fern: Don’t you find it demeaning when you’re offered table scraps?

Gracie: There you go being insulting again. I get all different tastes and flavors, and none of them are smelly fish!

Fern: I find wearing a collar submissive. Do you ever think about that?

Gracie: Collars are high class fashion statements. I get to wear one for every occasion. I noticed you look the same no matter what.

Fern: More cats are pets than dogs. Do you ever wonder why?

Gracie: That’s easy. People have more than one cat. A pat here, a can of food there and a cat will purr its life away. Dogs are more particular.

Fern: Well, I have to say I haven’t learned anything new about dogs. I actually found you boring.

Gracie: As if I care what a cat thinks of me!

Gracie

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