Humor According to Sassy

by SassyJazmine

Cat Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To NEVER tell a human that
The world is really ruled by CATS!

8 Really Good Things A Cat Thinks About...

1. I could have sworn I heard a can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. Hmmmm.... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we ever get those STUPID dogs to do anything for us?
5. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
6. Hey - no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
7. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilisation of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place.
8. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let THEM know who's boss !!

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - Unknown

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." - Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." - John S. Nichols

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