Spring Madness

by
Henri of Twin Brook

Ashley's Folly

I always get a bit concerned when Ashley, our house dog, starts to get interested in catalogs which arrive in the mail. For some reason or other she always gets excited by the pictures and her fertile but tiny mind begins to think of what she could possibly do with this or that item. That is the way of dog. There was the time.......but I don't want to go into that. Anyway, I discovered Ashley flipping through the pages of a seed catalog. Now I like seeds. Like any cat I appreciate the idea of throwing a few pawfuls of seeds into the ground and having tons of catnip burst forth from the earth. That was not likely to happen, however. I could not fathom what Ashley's intentions were as she scrutinized every page, every flower pictured on those glossy sheets. Ever at her side was her adopted cat-baby Stella, meowing with delight every time the dog pointed at something of interest.

For some time I have surmised that Stella has been observing me when I am operating my person's computer. I do this when my person is sound asleep of course. Then, when all is quiet, Stella sneaks up behind me and watches as I go from one web site to another. I had no idea her brain was absorbing every key-stroke I made and every site I frequented. She and Ashley continued to intently look at the pages of every seed and plant catalog which arrived on our doorstep. There was much meowing and barking between them and I should have been more attentive to this inter-species conversation, but alas, I was neglectful of my duties to the household and to my persons.

I should have been vigilant! Alas, I let my daily and nightly naps interfere with my surveillance of Ashley's and Stella's activities. I was unaware that, late at night, when the house was quite and dark, Stella was very busy in the next room. The computer screen glowed in the dark as the cat's paws tapped the keys, entering the necessary words and numbers which would hasten the purchase and delivery of the desired items. In this case, the transaction was much larger than either Ashley or Stella had anticipated.

The nocturnal transaction was followed by a few days of watching and waiting. Ashley hovered by the front door waiting for the arrival of the postal person who would deliver the precious bundle or bundles. "What exactly did you buy, using our person's credit card, Ashley?" I growled one afternoon as the dog paced back and forth, whining and complaining about the slowness of the delivery service.

"Well," she barked, "I have been reading up on the environment and how what is grown and put into the soil can affect the quality of life on this planet. I live on this planet which we call Hamden. So I am going to reinvent our front lawn and make it a safer and more beautiful place! I have ordered some wild flower seeds which I shall spread with great abandon!"

"Sounds wonderful!" I hissed. "As far as your reading about the environment, that is difficult to believe because I happen to know you cannot read! I know that Helen, our house mate tried to teach you, but to no avail!" Helen trotted into the room. "The mutt is really dumb, Henri!" she meowed. "After a few unproductive lessons, I was ready to pull my fur out!" "I am not stupid," barked Ashley. "Maybe I don't read very well, but I do watch television, you know!"

I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to the bedroom to take another nap. The very next day, a big truck arrived at the back door. The door bell rang. After a few minutes the big truck drove away. Soon my person became curious enough to see what had been left at our door. After examining the contents of the many, large bundles sitting on the deck, she began to shriek. She almost sounded like a cat! "Who on earth ordered six fifty pound bags of wild flower seeds?" Her face had become bright red which was not very becoming!

Stella entered the kitchen and stood by the opened door. "I didn't think the packages would be so big!" she meowed. "A pound of seeds is an awful lot of seeds!" I meowed loudly. "Be careful what you wish for, cat!"

"Doesn't the letters "lb"mean "little bit"?" asked Stella. "I thought that would be about a pawfull ." "No," I answered, "lb means pound, silly cat! You have enough wild flower seeds to reinvent West Rock Park!"

It did not take too many days before, after many telephone calls to someone out there in "seed land", a truck arrived and took the bags of wildflower seeds away. I am now duty bound to watch closely the activities of Ashley and her feline partner, Stella! A human works from sun to sun but a tom cat's work is never done! I think I shall take another nap!
The End

Back